Sandwich Cutting

Ugh. A cut sandwhich

Ugh. A cut sandwhich

One of my pet peeves in life is walking into a deli and ordering a sandwich. Let me clarify…it’s not in the ordering, but in the preparation that the issue arrises. Sandwich preparers are conditioned to cut customer’s sandwiches in half. And for the typical customer, that is fine. But I don’t like my sandwiches cut in half!

OK, so maybe I am being a bit of a baby here. But there is method in my madness. Let me explain.

Assume that I order a ham and cheese sandwich on whole wheat with everything on it (lettuce, tomato, mayo, mustard and pickles.) Most whole wheat bread is sliced fairly thinly. So the preparer makes the sandwich and then cuts it diagonally. Now you have a bunch of stuff in those thin corners of the sandwich. There is not enough support from the bread in those diagonal corners to keep your sandwich innards in place. It falls out and you have a mess. Horizontal slicing makes it marginally better, but still not perfect.

Now take the situation where you order the sandwich on a sandwich loaf (a “hoagie” or a “sub”.) Typically, these breads have crustier exteriors. When you bite into a sandwich like this, the mayonaise/mustard acts as a lubricant and the pressure of your teeth pushes the innards out the back end. If the sandwich has been cut, there is not enough surface area to apply reverse pressure with your hands to keep the innards inside.

Now, these problems will ALWAYS exists when you get down to the last bits-o-sandwich. So why do we have to double the problem by cutting the sandwich in half? Give me a whole, uncut sandwich, something I can actually hold onto. Minimize the slippage problem and I will be a happy camper.

Believe it or not, I have actually made people remake my sandwich because they cut it in half after I expressly asked them not to. The record so far is held by a young man at Togo’s who wound up making my sandwich 4 times! He just could not help himself from cutting it. Of course, I will only ask for a remake if it is being prepared somewhere that I can watch them make it. I hate human spittle on my sandwich more than I hate having them cut in half.

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