Why are there no “B” size batteries?

Common Battery Sizes

Common Battery Sizes

Something I have been wondering about for a long time. We have “D”, “C”, “A”, “AA” and “AAA” (yes there is actually an “A” as well as “F”, “G” and “J”. But there has never been (to my recollection) a “B” size (and apparantly there is no “E”, “H” or “I” sizes either).

Is there some fundamental problem that I am unaware of, of labeling something as “B”? If there was some insinuation of lesser quality, then we would not have any of the other letters either, and would probably have an “E” size signifying excellent. And an endless stream of ever increasing multiples of “A” kind of like all those “Rent-A-<add noun here>” yellow page ads. So that can’t be it.

Battery sizes seem to follow bra cup size designations with “A” being smaller and increasing through “D”. Although I have never heard of a “AAA” cup size…

Perhaps there was a “B” size once. Maybe it just inadequate for the bigger tasks, and too much for the smaller ones. Or maybe “B” was just BAD. Who knows. its a lot to ponder.



How Dry is DRY?

How Dry?

How Dry?

I was doing laundry today, moving the clothes from the washer to the dryer. Now let me state that I have one of those new-fangled washer/dryer systems that sing to you when your clothes are done. Be that as it may, its not really the topic of this post.

I noticed today (yes, I have had the dryer for 6 months and I JUST noticed today…) that the dryer has 4 settings for DRY. Now I don’t know about you, but when I put my clothes in the dryer, I really only need 1 setting… DRY. That is the point of the dryer, no? To actually DRY your clothes.

Well what I noticed is that my dryer has the following settings: Damp dry, Less Dry, Normal dry and More dry.

I can understand (only peripherally) the Damp dry setting. Perhaps people used to living in very humid climates are so used to feeling damp that they would prefer their clothes to be “Damp dry.” But really, shouldn’t it be just called Damp? A bit oxymoronic.

And WTF does Less Dry mean? Isn’t that still damp? There must be degrees of dampness to which I am oblivious. Again, I would never use the Damp setting, so less damp, or less dry is meaningless to me.

Then there is More Dry. OK. Dry is Dry, no? I mean, really, can something be more Dry than Dry? Doesn’t the very definition of the word Dry obviate the need for a setting called More Dry?

I guess I will just continue to use my new dryer in my proletarian fashion, perpetually set to the Normal Dry setting. As long as my clothes come out Dry, that’s all I really care about.

What Ever Happened to “Small”?


The old days of small, medium and large.

The old days of small, medium and large.

What ever happened to small? You know what I mean. You go into a fast food place or, heaven forbid, a movie theater and ask for a SMALL something. What they bring you back is humungous! I was at a theater once and ordered a small soda. It was 32 oz! Really, how can anyone sit through a 2 hour movie, drink that and not have to go pee just as the movie’s climax is about to occur? One of my kids has it all figured out. The theaters WANT you to go pee during the movie. This way, you miss something important and then you have to come back and pay a second time to see what you missed. Oh, yeah, and you will probably buy something to drink as well.


And speaking of theaters, why does 32 oz of Coke cost $3.50 in a theater and only $1.00 at 7-11? Let’s not even go there.

Some places don’t even offer a small any more. Ever go into a pizza joint and order a small pizza? And then the server says, “I’m sorry, we only have medium and large.” How can you have MEDIUM without a small and large. The very definition of medium is “something in a middle position.” DUH! Get it straight you guys. If all you have is 2 sizes then the smaller size is SMALL and the bigger size is LARGE.

Even recipes have changed over the years. Recipes in cookbooks that used to serve 6 now only serve 3 or 4.

Of course, this all leads to one inevitable conclusion…there few “small” Americans left, at least not when it comes to girth.

Sandwich Cutting

Ugh. A cut sandwhich

Ugh. A cut sandwhich

One of my pet peeves in life is walking into a deli and ordering a sandwich. Let me clarify…it’s not in the ordering, but in the preparation that the issue arrises. Sandwich preparers are conditioned to cut customer’s sandwiches in half. And for the typical customer, that is fine. But I don’t like my sandwiches cut in half!

OK, so maybe I am being a bit of a baby here. But there is method in my madness. Let me explain.

Assume that I order a ham and cheese sandwich on whole wheat with everything on it (lettuce, tomato, mayo, mustard and pickles.) Most whole wheat bread is sliced fairly thinly. So the preparer makes the sandwich and then cuts it diagonally. Now you have a bunch of stuff in those thin corners of the sandwich. There is not enough support from the bread in those diagonal corners to keep your sandwich innards in place. It falls out and you have a mess. Horizontal slicing makes it marginally better, but still not perfect.

Now take the situation where you order the sandwich on a sandwich loaf (a “hoagie” or a “sub”.) Typically, these breads have crustier exteriors. When you bite into a sandwich like this, the mayonaise/mustard acts as a lubricant and the pressure of your teeth pushes the innards out the back end. If the sandwich has been cut, there is not enough surface area to apply reverse pressure with your hands to keep the innards inside.

Now, these problems will ALWAYS exists when you get down to the last bits-o-sandwich. So why do we have to double the problem by cutting the sandwich in half? Give me a whole, uncut sandwich, something I can actually hold onto. Minimize the slippage problem and I will be a happy camper.

Believe it or not, I have actually made people remake my sandwich because they cut it in half after I expressly asked them not to. The record so far is held by a young man at Togo’s who wound up making my sandwich 4 times! He just could not help himself from cutting it. Of course, I will only ask for a remake if it is being prepared somewhere that I can watch them make it. I hate human spittle on my sandwich more than I hate having them cut in half.